Sleeveless Tops, Yoga Pants and the Deal Memo

So, I’m at a film audition looking forward to diving into the scenes I have prepared.  Sitting in the small area outside the casting directors inner office as ready as I’ll ever be, I overhear her talking on the phone.  Most likely speaking with an agent or manager, she is lending her opinion on some preliminary particulars of actress Lili Taylor’s Deal Memo.  For those who don’t know, a Deal Memo is a form that lists the pertinent details of salary, guaranteed conditions, and other essentials of a work agreement negotiated between a member of the cast or crew and a production company.  It’s like the “last step” before the actor officially signs on to the project.  Anyhow, Ms. Casting Director also makes sure to convey to the lady or chap on the other end of the phone, how very, very excited the producers will be to have Ms. Taylor on board.

It is then that my eyes pop open as the “needle being pulled off the turn table” sound effect goes “vvvvrrriiiip” in my head. For I am here to read for the very role Ms. Taylor is just about to land. 

Ugh, that is such a frustrating position to be in!  It’s difficult enough to walk into a room and make oneself vulnerable to a stranger, now ya gotta add this little tidbit to the mix?  The truth is, it's also  one of those “get over it” moments.  As in...do not spin out and obsess over why you’re even there in the first place.  I mean really, what good will that do?  I'm not saying it's time to just be all "Doodly-doo, it's fine, whatevs," but seriously, take a breath, shake it off, and treat the audition as a great opportunity to play the role you’ve been brought in to read for.  It may ultimately end up belonging someone else, but for the next 10 minutes it only belongs to you.

The legendary acting teacher Stella Adler used to tell her students, “in your choices lie your talent,” and in acting (as in life), our choices are always filtered through and informed by our personal history, our unique desires, and our one of a kind physical and spiritual essence.  Sure, there may be 50 other people up for the same part as you -- but no two people will EVER bring the exact same thing to the table.  Nobody can inhabit the role as you do, and no interpretation will ever manifest the exact same way as any other.  So for all you actors out there, hold onto the notion that you’re not competing with anyone other than your best self.   In fact, this seems like a pretty good concept to absorb no matter the profession or circumstance. 

Note to self:  Please remember aforesaid advice the next time you find yourself on the playground surrounded by 25-year-old Mommies in sleeveless tops and yoga pants.